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Heartbreak Hits

by Theo Katzman

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smv_
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smv_ I passed this album up when it first came out after a brief skim, which was a huge mistake. I was a massive Vulf fan, but at the time I was too swamped with other stuff to give this a fair listen. While I got past dating nearly a decade ago, most of these songs just go hard in a fun way. Plain Jane Heroin though, that touches some real trauma in a real way and I love him for it. So glad I got to see him live and convince me to go back lol. Favorite track: Plain Jane Heroin.
bobbyfanboy
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bobbyfanboy Some extremely catchy stuff here! Amazing voice, and solid performances. I like it a lot (said in a thick English accent.)
stewart black
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stewart black Extraordinary songwriting, fabulous performances, an album of flawless break up pop tunes which will suit sad lovers of all ages and all sizes.
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1.
Hard Work 03:21
V1 I caught your teardrops with my shoulder when you cried I called in sick so I could comfort you all night Now you've got cold feet, well just let me break the ice I did your laundry and I folded it real nice So, baby, why? CH (I put in the hard work) Now I’m defeated, face down in the dirt (I put in the hard work) And I can’t seem to climb out of this hurt (I put in the hard work) If it’s true that you get what you deserve (I put in the hard work) Then why? (I put in the hard work) V2 I held your hair back when you had too much to drink I used my bare hands to unclog that bathroom sink When you got de-pressed and your mind was on the blink I peeled you off the floor and drove you to a shrink C’mon, baby, why? CHORUS V3 I know it’s painful to become a butterfly You have to break yourself before your wings can fly But still I wonder when I look up at the sky If this ain’t hell then where does love go when it dies? Cuz baby, I... CH (I put in the hard work) Now I’m defeated, face down in the dirt (I put in the hard work) And I can’t seem to climb out of this hurt (I put in the hard work) If it’s true that you get what you deserve (I put in the hard work) Then, God, what'd I do to deserve this curse? (I put in the hard work) Now I’m defeated, face down in the dirt (I put in the hard work) And I can’t seem to climb out of this hurt (I put in the hard work) I know it's worthless, but for what it's worth (I put in the hard work) I put in the hard work
2.
CH We used to make love together Now we break up together (Farewell, forever) We break up together Such a strange kind of pleasure Now we break up together (Oh well, whatever) We break up together V1 We used to share everything Toothpaste, laughter, and the kitchen sink And nothin could come between Two young lovers sharing everything But somehow things have changed There's no more laughter, no more kitchen sink And though we can't remain At least I know that we can share the pain V2 We used to read fairytales Flip the pages to the very end And sing aloud happily Ever after, we would play pretend But somehow things have changed The story's over, at the very end And though we can't remain At least I know that we can share the pain BRIDGE We'll share the grief And we'll share the blame Divvy the guilt And we'll split the shame We'll drift apart, but somehow we'll stay Connected through our suffering
3.
V1 Two sad people walk down the street 'Where we gonna sit down, where we gonna eat?' Two sad people don't have much to say Just 'how are you doin' or 'how was your day?' CH No more sad, sad, sappy love songs About two sad people who can't get along I want a glad, glad, happy love song I'd even take a crappy love song Like this one V2 Two sad people don't let each other down You can't get much lower when you're on the ground Two sad people don't fuss or fight Just a roll over honey and a turn out the light BRIDGE One sad person might cause a fuss Say something stupid and mess it all up But two sad people, that's a special thing They're both blind from the shine of the wedding ring V3 Too sad people don't need to rush There’s no need to hurry, nothin to discuss Two sad people, they can take their sweet time And just creep on up to that finish line
4.
V1 I saw the white light comin' I saw the red rush onto my bed Over my duvet cover I woke up on the wrong side of it PRE 1 Nobody heard the shots (There’s no witness) Nobody called the cops (No one’s business) Now I've got this hole in the front of of my chest Somehow, I’m still alive, just my My heart is dead CHORUS: Oooh, my heart is dead, girl Oooh, It doesn’t beat no more My heart is dead, girl My heart is dead V2 I left my back door open It must’ve struck while I was asleep I should’ve seen this comin' That kind of hit you only get from lovin' PRE 2: Nobody took the blame (no one’s busted) No one was locked away (there’s no justice) Just this gaping hole in the font of my chest Somehow, I’m still alive, just my My heart is dead BRIDGE: I’m a zombie in disguise (he’s still breathing’ — how’s he still breathin’?) I’m a ghost, yeah, I can’t feel no-thin’ inside POST BRIDGE: It’s like I died But, I’m still alive I’m not upset No worries, just... ALT CHORUS: Ooh, there's no justice, no... Oooh, Nobody took the blame No one was locked away I just had to let you know My heart is...
5.
V1 Lookin out my rear view mirror The miles behind don’t disappear like they used to When I was with you However hard I hit the gas The engine don’t run half as fast as it once did When we were just kids PRE All of the good old days are gone But this life keeps rollin on On and on CH Yeah, it’s good to be alone No one to call you on the phone After a month out on the road No one to tell you 'welcome home' No one to scratch you down your back No one to cut you any slack You got to scratch it on your own Yeah it’s good to be alone V2 The mountain tops don’t stand so high The open road ain’t quite as wide as it once seemed When we had the same dream The evening stars don’t shine so bright When we don’t make love through the night like we once did Those lights are faded
6.
V1 Maybe I’ll stick out on the pavement Under your sneakers I’ve been waiting To catch a whiff of something Wishing, hoping, praying Maybe I’ll slip into the back of a limousine I must have skipped out of the heavens Cranking my ego to 11 Me and my solo mission Hittin' and hittin' and missin' Maybe I'll make it to the back of a magazine CH Somebody pick me up off the ground Take me to the lost and found Somebody accidentally put me down Take me to the lost and found V2 I know it’s drastic but I’m jaded Mr. Fantastic, yeah I made it Too many hands are shakin Thank you, I love it, I hate it Too many kisses in the back of a limousine First it was vintage, now it's dated High definition, now it's faded This intuition doesn’t feel like it’s makin’ a statement Without some lipstick and a head full of gasoline V3 I must have blacked out in the basement Scratching my television, aching One sip of Kool-Aid got me drunk on the expectation And now I'm naked in the back of a magazine CH Somebody pick me up off the ground Take me to the lost and found Somebody accidentally put me down Take me to the lost and found I wanna mingle in the lost and found Everyone's single in the lost and found Somebody accidentally put me down Take me to the lost and found
7.
My 1-Bedroom 04:29
V1 You bring your boots and your yoga pants I'll bring my copy of The Royal Scam We can get down to the Steely Dan In my one bedroom We'll set the tone with a window plant Decorative soap and a 'Welcome' mat We'll split the cost of it all in half In my one bedroom Pre Tell me why Is it so hard to see the stars align? When we tangle into knots every time CH Look outside your window, it’s getting colder Living limb by limbo, it’s getting older Take a chance on my quadruple-leafed clover It’s about to bloom I’m going nowhere I hope you join me soon I hope you join me soon In my 1-bedroom V2 I'll bring some socks, and some underwear Bagels and lox, and some silverware We'll play some Risk and some Truth or Dare In my 1-bedroom Your father's dough, and his coffee cup Your mother's robe, and her best of luck Will keep us warm when the times get tough In my 1-bedroom
8.
AS THE ROMANS DO V1 I bought a Tascam reel and a cast iron pan A flask of Tequila, a fountain pen A sexy typewriter, from way backwhen I bid a fond farewell to my best-est friends I packed my possessions in a U-Haul van I soared, like a sailor to the promised land PRE 1 Once I saw the aqueducts and statues I knew what I had to do…. I'd do…do as the Romans DO V2 I found a one-bedroom with a bird's eye view I took the F train to 2nd avenue Where the bath house was bumpin' the dubstep blues They're sipping cane sugar sodas and top shelf booze Mix Ralph Lauren togas with thrift-shop shoes Meeting 9 to 5 quotas with a-nothin to lose... PRE 2 They like to see pictures They like captions They like songs with lots of 'oohs' That's how you do...do as the Romans do BRIDGE Sing with the sirens What do they tell you? Isn't it lovely When they scream? VERSE 3 I showed up to the alley with my tin pan With a middle finger stickin up to the man But the miners in the alley traded tin pans For the Silicon Valley and a business plan So I tattooed my face onto my hand And unto my own image I built a brand Now as soon as I have a mill-i-on faceless fans That's when I'mma start movin' those cheap head bands PRE 3 They like to see pictures, They like captions, They like songs with lots of... Talk about my social status, add me to your list, I want to... These days we build empires in much less than one day, oh yes it's true And you can too As long as you do... Do as the Romans do
9.
V1 Love is a beautiful thing Hugging, kissing, laughing, holding hands Love is a beautiful thing Unless it’s you loving another man Then I can’t stand to see you Hugging, kissing, laughing, holding hands If it’s not me, you see, how could love be a thing of beauty V2 Love is a beautiful thing Birds are singing songs down from the trees Love is a beautiful thing The breeze is blowing, rustling autumn leaves But if those leaves are rustling underneath somebody else’s feet Then it’s not me, you se—how could that be a thing of beauty? BRIDGE I find comfort in believing Over time, I’ll come to see, someday How love could be that way V3 Love is a beautiful thing Winter’s rage has blossomed into spring Love is a beautiful thing And on your hand I see that there’s a ring And I would understand, if I had put that ring upon your hand But it was not me, you see, so how could that be a thing of beauty?
10.
V1 There's a stain upon the couch from where I tried to get you high There’s a bruise upon my leg again I thought we were makin’ love, but you were stickin' it in my thigh Now I can't feel my face again CH I'm hooked on the Plain Jane Heroin I'm hooked on the Plain Jane Heroin I will never be the same Without you, Jane And your heroin V2 I thought I could dabble with you once or twice a week Yeah, I was in control of it But now I'm swaying backwards with no shoes upon my feet And I can’t keep a hold of it BRIDGE: Oh, I tried to mess with Mary just to get Jane off my mind But all it did was make the pain get worse Medicate the symptom and you'll never solve the crime 'Till you pick yourself up off the floor V3 Twenty-eight months sober and the days are all the same The sun goes up and down again But when I think about the way she felt inside my veins I get bags under my eyes again POST CHORUS Oh Jane, Oh Jane I’ll never be the same
11.
I've been staring at the ceiling Searching for some word that rhymes with how I'm feeling Someone feed the fishes Someone clean my car I can't keep up on the dishes While I wish upon a star Someone save my soul I'm a slave to rock and roll Please, politicians, preachers, pray, Give us wisdom, teach us right from wrong (Oh yeah) I'm too busy tryin' to write a pop song I've been chipping at this sculpture Hoping his gigantic hands will heal pop culture Someone raise the wages Someone fight the fight I've been speakin' with the sages In the middle of the night Someone save my soul I sold it to Billy Joel ("In the middle of the...") Please, politicians, preachers, pray, Give us wisdom, teach us right from wrong (Oh yeah) I'm too busy tryin' to write a pop song Please, Mother Nature's on her knees, Read the paper, see what's going on (What's goin' on) I'm too busy tryin' to write a pop song

credits

released January 6, 2017

Produced by Tyler Duncan and Theo Katzman

All songs written by Theo Katzman, except for “Hard Work” (Theo Katzman/Tyler Duncan), and “Lost and Found” (Theo Katzman/Joey Dosik)
All Drums, Guitars, Lead Vocals and Percussion by Theo Katzman

Recorded by Tyler Duncan at The Barber House in Ann Arbor, MI
Additional Recording by Theo Katzman at home in Los Angeles, CA

Mixed by Tyler Duncan
Mastered by Devin Kerr

Cover Photo by Claire Marie Vogel
Album Artwork by Robert Lester

Joe Dart: Fender Bass
Woody Goss: Piano, Wurlitzer Electric Piano on "Break Up Together"
Laura Mace and Mike G: Omni Backing Vocals
Lee Pardini: Wurlitzer Electric Piano
Drew Howard: Pedal Steel Guitar
Brett Farkas: Additional Electric Guitar on “As the Romans Do"

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Theo Katzman Los Angeles, California

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