Modern Johnny Sings: Songs in the Age of Vibe

by Theo Katzman

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Robert Gray
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Robert Gray I discovered Theo Katzman through a random YouTube video and immediately fell for his melodies. The production and musicianship is phenomenal and "What Did You Mean (When You Said Love)" is a song I would kill to have written! Favorite track: What Did You Mean (When You Said Love).
otispeppercorn
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otispeppercorn A wide range of songs that all seem to cover things we feel but can't say. Listening to this album is a kind of catharsis for me Favorite track: What Did You Mean (When You Said Love).
Eamou
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Eamou My lockdown album! Such a nice atmosphere. Love Theo's voice and the album is full of catchy hooks. I'll be eagerly awaiting his next solo venture! Favorite track: What Did You Mean (When You Said Love).
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1.
V1 Momma, Momma, it's a mad, mad world I feel bad for all the boys and girls Fallin' in from the astral plane Out of the great unknown into the grand insane But listen, children, I've got good news You don't have to play by the rules So step right up and just stake your claim And I'm gon' teach you how to play the game CH1 Just Throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence, and You could be President V2 Momma, Momma, I hate to say Dog eat dog seems like the only way To take your seat in the captain's chair Lord knows, the golden rule ain't gonna get you there So don't be humble and don't be kind All that noise is just a waste of time (It's a waste of your time) And pay no mind to what the people say So long as the people say your name (Keep 'em sayin' your name) CH2 Just Throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence, and You could be president V3 Momma, Momma, it's hard to see That old Lady called Liberty Weeping into that New York bay Well if I could console her, this is what I'd say... CH3 Just Throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence And it's all yours, so you can make your mess of it Run your mouth and mix all your messages Twist the truth until you can't make sense of it You can't lose if you can keep on bendin' it, You could be President You could be President You could be President You could be President
2.
V1 If I have one, I might as well have two If I have two, I might as well have ten Now, I don't need to count the rest I think we both know how the story ends I'm on your front porch I need a place to sleep Oh, love's gonna be the death of me The death of me Love's gonna be the death of me (The death of me, yeah…) V2 I tried hard to play my cards just right Beginner's luck usually gets me through the night But after one kiss it hits the fan A flush of bleeding hearts in my hand I grab a band-aid, but what's the rush? Oh, love's gonna be the death of us The death of us Love's gonna be the death of us (The death of us) BRIDGE Here we rest eternal, here we rest in peace, we Say a little prayer for the love deceased, we Bury our desire, burning all the lust Till it’s ash to ashes Dust to dust V3 Now you will never speak to me again It's all my fault and I cannot pretend There was a signpost I did not see Drivin' the wrong way down A one way street And now the car's wrapped Around a bus Oh, love's gonna be the death of us The death of us Oh, ooh, loves gonna be The death of us Ooh, ooh, loves gonna be The death of us Ooh, ooh, loves gonna be The death of us The death of us
3.
V1 Love What did you mean by Love? Is that the word you meant to whisper With kisses down her neck? Love What did you mean by that? And what did you expect would happen? She'd pat you on the back, stand up and Start slow clappin'? Love What did you mean by Love? I think you meant 'like you strongly' Unless you meant 'just your body' Just enough to stay But not enough to fall Instead of giving up What did you mean by Love? V2 Hope What did you mean you hope so? Did you mean you were less than likely To head over your heels, because your heart was Just not there? That's what you could've said No hieroglyphics to decipher No beatin' 'round the bush Just set the bush on fire, but... Love What did you mean by Love? I think you meant 'see you later' 'It's really been a bunch of fun but now it's done' I know... You probably have to go But I'd still like to know... CH What did you mean by Love? What did you mean? What did you mean When you said Love? What did you mean when you said Love? V3 Love It's more than just a word You thought that you could test the waters Droppin' the atom bomb... Well, now the water's turning Red And all the fish are dead Floatin' around my head With all the other things I could have said to make you See Just what you mean to me, but The damage has been done... CH What did you mean by Love? What did you mean? What did you mean When you said Love? What did you mean when you said Love? Oh, Love What did you mean? Love What did you mean when you said Love?
4.
V1 She says “honey, why’re you crying" I don’t know what to say It’s been 70 and shining for the last one-hundred days But the whole time I’ve been pining The whole time I’ve been pained Cuz where I come from honey It hardly ever rains It’s a sunday in this jungle A monday ‘cross the pond And you can go to prison here for Watering your lawn And i have no explanation For why i feel so strange But where i come from, honey It hardly ever rains, yes, Where i come from, honey It hardly ever rains V2 She scribbles on a napkin I ask if i can see It’s a cowboy in a red dress With a hat made out of leaves He’s got wings on both his shoulders I ask "what does this mean,” She says, “Honey, it’s a picture of you," Well, I wish that felt like me She’s a whisper in the silence Some pixels on my phone Sayin “no man is an island, but Everyone’s alone” And maybe that’s what keeps me smiling Maybe that’s what keeps me sane, cuz Where I come from, honey It hardly ever rains Yes, where i come from, honey It hardly ever rains V3 She calls me from the airport Just to say goodbye And that’s when it starts pouring Teardrops from my eyes And I don’t have my hopes up But I don’t have no shame, cuz Where I come from, honey It hardly ever rains Then the lightning hits the concrete The thunder is delayed But I can hear a heartbeat From a hundred miles away And I ain’t in no danger But I am still afraid Cuz where I come from, honey It hardly ever rains Yes, where i come from, honey it hardly ever rains
5.
V1 Lily’s a trip She sleeps in the day And wakes in the night with a glass of champagne When everything’s quiet She slips out the door You can’t her feet cuz she glides 'cross the floor Into the dark Out of her room She makes her escape by the light of the moon When nobody’s watching That’s when she shines From the back of the house To the front of my mind CH Lily of Casablanca Dream weaver Show stopper Blooms in the midnight hour Lily of Casablanca V2 Lily is plugged Into the beyond Her life is a lamp And her soul is switched on When she’s by my side I feel it so deep A constant vibration that Can’t be released Lily is strong She’s fine on her own She don’t need my arms To make her feel at home But someday I hope I can Wrap them around her and Show her the way that I feel about her CH Lily of Casablanca Dream weaver Show stopper Blooms in the midnight hour Lily of Casablanca BRIDGE She’s got a pretty song to sing, but She’s only ever whispering So if you wanna hear it You really gotta listen in, or You bet you’re gonna miss it, and then She’ll be disappearing V3 Lily's a punk She don't give a funk She don’t make a scene, she just Does what she wants And speaking of which I'm catching her bug And it's making me sick Cuz I'm falling in love with CH Lily of Casablanca Dream weaver Show stopper Blooms in the midnight hour Lily of Casablanca Oh, yeah She’s a dream weaver She’s a punk rocker Lily of Casablanca
6.
"Best" 03:39
V1 Whoever said That words can’t hurt you must have never had A dictionary dropped down on their head From a distance The last I checked That’d knock you dead And I’m impressed Cuz based on the available context Well, I don’t think you were speaking in jest I think you meant it Because you signed it And then you sent it CHORUS You coulda told me to get lost It wouldn’t've hurt me so bad You coulda told me to fuck off I woulda prob'ly just laughed But for all the days we spent together And all the ways you could end a letter I woulda thought you’d pick something better But instead, you chose “Best” V2 Well, I confess If this was just some ruthless kind of test To see if I’d get uselessly obsessed Well, then you nailed it Cuz you passed it And I failed it CHORUS You coulda told me to get lost It wouldn’t've hurt me so bad You coulda told me to fuck off I woulda prob'ly just laughed But for all the days we spent together And all the ways you could end a letter I woulda thought you’d pick something better But instead, you chose “Best” POST Oh, oh yes I’d have never guessed Baby, you chose “Best” BRIDGE Peace, love, sincerely, warmest regards, cheers, yours truly, X.O., Talk soon, later, thanks for reading, with all due respect... Let me be direct V3 Did you forget How many times the two of us had sex? Tho I would call it love making instead At least a thousand The last I checked But who’s counting? CHORUS You coulda told me to get lost It wouldn’t've hurt me so bad You coulda told me to fuck off I woulda prob'ly just laughed But for all the days we spent together And all the ways you could end a letter I woulda thought you’d pick something better But instead, you chose “Best” POST Oh, oh yes I’d have never guessed Baby, you chose “Best”
7.
V1 One hundred years from now No one will care about Anything you ever did Anything you ever said And if by chance they do You were probably a jerk Or likely even worse, Kept people down by force But perhaps you were a saint That's an honorable thing Gave your life to help the poor Fought injustices and wars Either way, you get the point We don't have much time to waste, just Find yourself a horse, and Ride it till it breaks Pre Chorus 1 All anyone will say is "Wait, what was their name?" But don't worry, it's ok Actually, it's great, cuz No one's keep score, so... So just get over... CH1 You-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, get over you, get over you. V2 One hundred years from now You'll be floating through the air While the cocaine that you did Decomposes in your hair If you're listening to this song Then, one hundred years from now You'll probably be dead Unless you've figured out How to change the serpentine belt Replace all your stem cells Seven daily health tips Ketosis or kale chips So what's it all about? Can't we figure this shit out? Do we really have to fight If we all still have to die? Pre Chorus 2 All anyone will say is "Wait, what was their name?" But don't worry, it's ok Actually, it's great, cuz No one's keep score, so... So just get over... CH2 You-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, get over you, get over you. BRIDGE V3 A couple years ago My friend took a vacation Thirty days of silence Tried to meditate some — Where in Southeast Asia I think it was Thailand... Either way, he showed me Pictures from his camera, and Written on the wall Of the temple where he sat It said "cut yourself some slack" And then this basic fact, it Made me laugh out loud So deep but yet so simple It said "One hundred years from now, remember: All new people" So just get over... CH3 You-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, get over you, get over You-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, get over you, get over You-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, get over you, get...
8.
V1 Meet me at the gate Darlin’ don’t be late The top’s already rolled down The bed’s already made I’m still so impatient Some things never change You’re still takin your sweet time It still drives me insane CH1 I’m still wearin my faded old t-shirt Driving an orange Beamer One more goodbye, then I’ll be on my way So darlin Don't Be Late V2 You were never happy And I was never home Those two things were related Which came first, I’ll never know But none of that shit matters now Cuz no ones keepin' score And no one’s gonna judge you When you walk through that door I will be waiting for ya… CH2 Wearing my faded old t-shirt Driving an orange Beamer One more goodbye, then I’ll be on my way So darlin Don't Be Late V3 I know that you’re worried That you’re getting close To giving up the good fight And heading for the coast So when you meet that moment Just know that you’ll be safe I'll catch you on the flip side Of that white marshmallow haze But you know that I hate to wait I’m still... CH3 Wearing my faded old t-shirt Driving an orange Beamer I’ll be smokin’ Elysian reefer I’ve been waiting to long just to see ya So I can kiss you goodbye, then I’ll be on my way So darlin Don't Be Late
9.
V1 I don’t wanna be a billionaire I just want a comfy place to live With friends and neighbors always around They never call me, just walk on in The doors and windows ain’t ever locked Because I don’t have any shit to steal Just a couple comfy chairs to sit And a pot to cook a family meal CH So close your eyes and cover up your ears This ain’t the message that you came to hear, but I can’t help it if I just don’t care I don’t want to be a billionaire V2 I’m tired of hearin’ about the I.P.O. All of the ways that all the cash could flow It would be nice if it would trickle down To the people on the other side of town But something tells me that it probably won’t ‘Cuz something tells me that it just ain’t right Taking donations for the 1 percent Out of the pockets of the 99 CH So close your eyes and cover up your ears This ain’t the message that you came to hear, but I can’t help it if I just don’t care I don’t want to be a billionaire POST CHORUS No, I don’t No-oh-oh, I don’t I don’t wanna be a billionaire BRIDGE I don’t want to sacrifice my life, tryin’ to Shave five seconds off a checkout line Think of something that the whole world needs Faster fast food delivery I don’t want to be forced to guess What to do with all of my excess Take vacations into outer space Or pay all school teachers a living wage V3 I know nothing’s gonna come from this Except for make a couple people pissed It ain’t effective, far as I can tell Telling the Devil he should go to hell And I don’t even know who’s to blame Or who’s been marching in the hit parade But I don’t really wanna sing along If a computer wrote the f*#kin’ song CH So close your eyes and cover up your ears This ain’t the message that you came to hear, but I can’t help it if I just don’t care I don’t want to be a billionaire POST CHORUS No, I don’t No-oh-oh, I don’t I don’t wanna be a billionaire
10.
V1 Men are great, but also deeply Fucked up in the brain I am one, and if I’m honest, I’m a bit ashamed CH1 But don’t take my word for it Just look up at the scoreboard We’ve got the lead in several Important categories Colonization, slavery, genocide, and war, but… "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" V2 Men do things like fight for status At the world’s expense This destruction, say the experts, Has it’s roots in sex CH2 That’s why we brag about it You wouldn’t understand it We just can’t live without it: Taking what’s not been granted And if she speaks her mind, she’s just a crazy whore, cuz… "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" BRIDGE They can’t have too much power We’re just too scared to let them So we just keep them down and Sit back and watch what happens: Major financial crashes, ruthless incarceration Lead poison in the water, nuclear devastation V3 Men are great, but also deeply Fucked up in the brain CH3 But don’t take my word for it Ask the 45th P.O.T.U.S. Callin’ ‘em nasty while he’s Grabbin’ ‘em by the – You see… I know it’s not that simple Unless it’s just that simple I ain’t no statistician, but, I’m picking up a pattern In our domestic violence In all of these mass shootings These are just observations I’m not jumping to conclusions TAG Colonization, slavery, genocide, and war… Colonization, slavery, genocide, and war… And yet we sill say, despite all of this and more… "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
11.
V1 There’s fog in the mirror No reflection back from the glass I can’t see the future Only the past There’s fog in the mirror Double vanity, single bath We could take a shower Wait for the water to rise up Our love would heat the pipes up CH1 How would you like it, To be confused by a Sad romantic Looking for a muse? I’m sorry to say, That’s the best that I can do V2 There’s fog in the mirror With my fingers I draw a map Of a different time zone Across an ocean On an island Where Irish eyes are smilin’ CH2 How would you like it, To be confused by a Sad romantic Looking for a muse? I’m sorry to say, That’s the best that I can do V3 Let’s open a window Pull the shades up and flip the latch Just to let some steam out That’s my best guess What a hot mess We were naked, now we’re full dressed CH2 How would you like it, To be confused by a Sad romantic Tryin’ to sing the blues? I’m sorry to say, That’s the best that I can do
12.
V1 Did you hear the one About the old man and the son Who had a horse Who ran away? All the neighbors came and said “We’re sorry ‘bout the stallion. He must have cost a fortune, What a shame” But the old man, he knew better Any moment anything can change forever, yes… CH1 All’s well that ends well But, all’s well even if it doesn’t End well All’s well that ends well But, all’s well, even if it doesn’t End well V2 One day, out of nowhere, After months had passed, The horse came back And this time had a lady with him She gave birth to baby horses All the neighbors said “congratulations, What a fortune, God is great” But the old man, he knew better Any moment anything can change forever, yes… CH1 All’s well that ends well But, all’s well even if it doesn’t End well All’s well that ends well But, all’s well even if it doesn’t End well BRIDGE And the boy rode all the horses Till one day he got kicked off and landed On his back and broke it All the neighbors sunk their heads and said, “How terrible, the poor young lad, He’ll never ride a horse again” V3 It’s hard to say just how the story ends, It’s still unfolding, but we know the son was injured bad Then a war broke out across the land And all the men were drafted but the boy Who had the broken back And as he lay there in bed, in the hospital All the young men were killed in the battle You see, the old man, he knew better Any moment anything can change forever, yes… CH1 All’s well that ends well But, all’s well even if it doesn’t End well All’s well that ends well But, all’s well even if it doesn’t End well

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released January 10, 2020

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Theo Katzman Los Angeles, California

Too HEART to be HIP
Too HIP to be POP
Too POP to be ROCK
Too ROCK to be ART

...TOUGH SITCH...

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