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Modern Johnny Tackles the Issues

by Theo Katzman

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1.
V1 Momma, Momma, it's a mad, mad world I feel bad for all the boys and girls Fallin' in from the astral plane Out of the great unknown into the grand insane But listen, children, I've got good news You don't have to play by the rules So step right up and just stake your claim And I'm gon' teach you how to play the game CH1 Just Throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence, and You could be President V2 Momma, Momma, I hate to say Dog eat dog seems like the only way To take your seat in the captain's chair Lord knows, the golden rule ain't gonna get you there So don't be humble and don't be kind All that noise is just a waste of time (It's a waste of your time) And pay no mind to what the people say So long as the people say your name (Keep 'em sayin' your name) CH2 Just Throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence, and You could be president V3 Momma, Momma, it's hard to see That old Lady called Liberty Weeping into that New York bay Well if I could console her, this is what I'd say... CH3 Just Throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence And it's all yours, so you can make your mess of it Run your mouth and mix all your messages Twist the truth until you can't make sense of it You can't lose if you can keep on bendin' it, You could be President You could be President You could be President You could be President
2.
V1 I don’t wanna be a billionaire I just want a comfy place to live With friends and neighbors always around They never call me, just walk on in The doors and windows ain’t ever locked Because I don’t have any shit to steal Just a couple comfy chairs to sit And a pot to cook a family meal CH So close your eyes and cover up your ears This ain’t the message that you came to hear, but I can’t help it if I just don’t care I don’t want to be a billionaire V2 I’m tired of hearin’ about the I.P.O. All of the ways that all the cash could flow It would be nice if it would trickle down To the people on the other side of town But something tells me that it probably won’t ‘Cuz something tells me that it just ain’t right Taking donations for the 1 percent Out of the pockets of the 99 CH So close your eyes and cover up your ears This ain’t the message that you came to hear, but I can’t help it if I just don’t care I don’t want to be a billionaire POST CHORUS No, I don’t No-oh-oh, I don’t I don’t wanna be a billionaire BRIDGE I don’t want to sacrifice my life, tryin’ to Shave five seconds off a checkout line Think of something that the whole world needs Faster fast food delivery I don’t want to be forced to guess What to do with all of my excess Take vacations into outer space Or pay all school teachers a living wage V3 I know nothing’s gonna come from this Except for make a couple people pissed It ain’t effective, far as I can tell Telling the Devil he should go to hell And I don’t even know who’s to blame Or who’s been marching in the hit parade But I don’t really wanna sing along If a computer wrote the f*#kin’ song CH So close your eyes and cover up your ears This ain’t the message that you came to hear, but I can’t help it if I just don’t care I don’t want to be a billionaire POST CHORUS No, I don’t No-oh-oh, I don’t I don’t wanna be a billionaire
3.
V1 Men are great, but also deeply Fucked up in the brain I am one, and if I’m honest, I’m a bit ashamed CH1 But don’t take my word for it Just look up at the scoreboard We’ve got the lead in several Important categories Colonization, slavery, genocide, and war, but… Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned V2 Men do things like fight for status At the world’s expense This destruction, say the experts, Has it’s roots in sex CH2 That’s why we brag about it You wouldn’t understand it We just can’t live without it Taking what’s not been granted And if she speaks her mind, she’s just a crazy whore, cuz… Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned BRIDGE They can’t have too much power We’re just too scared to let them So we just keep them down and Sit back and watch what happens: Major financial crashes, ruthless incarceration Lead poison in the water, nuclear devastation V3 Men are great, but also deeply Fucked up in the brain CH3 But don’t take my word for it Ask the 45th P.O.T.U.S. Callin’ ‘em nasty while he’s Grabbin’ ‘em by the – You see… I know it’s not that simple Unless it’s just that simple I ain’t no statistician, but, I’m picking up a pattern In our domestic violence In all of these mass shootings These are just observations I’m not jumping to conclusions TAG Colonization, slavery, genocide, and war… Colonization, slavery, genocide, and war… And yet we sill say, despite all of this and more… Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

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3 songs from the upcoming full length LP, "Modern Johnny Sings: Songs in the Age of Vibe"

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released December 6, 2019

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Theo Katzman Los Angeles, California

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